Un cri de coeur

Someone off the Ship of Fools was asking me how things were. I thought part of what came out by way of an answer might be worth setting down here.

I’d like to think that we fell in with a particularly nasty little team of people, but the fact remains that (the movement’s leader) backed them up all the way and that others elsewhere tell oh-so-similar tales.

I really really thought that when I told (the movement’s leader) what was going on with us he would intervene, and one of the hardest things to digest was him backing up his “apostle” all the way. (…)

The difficult thing now, is working out what one is left with.

I hope time will make things better, but it is very hard to understand why no-one in (that movement) can find it in themselves to admit any responsibility at all for the mess they made here, which goes far beyond our personal circumstances and is plain for all to see.

Even if one were to assume (which I don’t for a moment believe) that their accusations were correct, their handling of them is so unjustifiable. For them to admit they handled it badly would enable some sort of closure for us. Why is it so difficult for them to do that? What would it cost them? How can they preach what they do about relationships and not do that? That’s what gnaws away at us and our faith, day after day after day.

At the time, at the insistence of a longstanding friend who was one of those we started the church with, I went as far down the line as I felt able in publicly asking forgiveness for every last bad attitude I could in all conscience think of (though this did not include having a Jezabellic spirit!). My friend’s perception was that the whole thing was a personality clash and that doing this would break the logjam. Of course it didn’t. These guys I had worked with, promoted, and defended, just sat tight and never conceded anything – there was no “personality clash”, they wanted me gone and that was that.

Now the church is blown apart and still one is led to believe they are clean as clean. I just don’t get it.

One thought on “Un cri de coeur

Comments are closed.